Avengers Infinity War Parody (NO SPOILERS)
by Important Raccoon
Summary: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. The Avengers is owned by "Marvel Entertainment." Please support the official release. This is pretty much satire upon satire but we have worked on this for a long time. Please Enjoy!


"I now have the first infinity stone!" Shouted Thanos claiming the first of six infinity gems, "I now need reality, space, soul, mind, and time. With my power stone, I have... well... power." Then Thanos flew to Gotham City. "Hello Robin. I will get your infinity stone!" He shouted full of power.

Robin then punched Thanos in the face, "Catch me outside, how 'bout dat?" Thanos stared down at Robin, and with a thrust stuck his arm through Robin's chest who died. He had the time infinity stone and Thanos acquired it. Then Thanos flew to the Kanto region and went to Misty from Pokemon who possessed the soul stone. But he also saw Brock and Ash.

"Woah!" said Ash, Misty, and Brock in perfect harmony. "Go Pikachu!" shouted Ash with enthusiasm.

"Go Onix!" exclaimed Brock.

"Go... Magikarp..." said Misty.

Then, in a deep, horrifying voice Thanos said, "Go Thanoschu." Thanoschu used beams from his eyes and blasted Onix and Pikachu slaughtering them instantaneously. But, Magikarp absorbed the energy and beamed it right back killing Thanoschu. Thanos looked in horror, " NANI!?"

Thanos then used the time infinity stone to travel back in time to when he first saw the three children. Before they could gasp, he threw out a jiggly-puff who inflated until it was 150 meters big, it proceeded to fall killing everyone there except for Thanos. He collected the soul stone. "Three more stones," Thanos chuckled.

 **CHAPTER** **2**

Captain Ukraine was brawling with Captain Canada. Each of them were delivering quick jab and throwing their shields at one another. Then, they heard the American Nation Anthem playing, "Captain America," they said in sync.

Captain America, on a motorcycle, came racing towards the two. "Thanos! He's coming!" He said in fear. Captain Ukraine and Captain Canada, with their arms tangled, looked at each other in confusion. Suddenly, a portal opened and Thanos stepped through and with one backhand backhanded them all killing them instantaneously. Captain Ukraine and Captain Canada both had infinity stones. Thanos added the space and reality stones to his collection.

He then, like Kirby, sucked all three of them into his belly for a delicious treat.

 **CHAPTER 3**

"Yo whattup bro? How ya doin?" Questioned Bob the Builder.

"Pretty fine my boi. How 'bout ya?" Replied Clifford the Big Red Dog.

Bob the Builder, in his helmet, had the mind infinity stone. Thanos really wanted that stone so he opened up a portal and went to the two.

"Oh snap!" Exclaimed Bob the Builder throwing his hammer at Thanos. It smacked against Thanos but Thanos did not flinch. He proceeded to evaporate Bob the Builder so that only his helmet remained. Clifford began to sprint away but he was too large.

Thanos, now with six infinity stones, could make anything happen. With a snap of his fingers Clifford turned into lego and fell all over the floor. Thanos smiled with an evil grin.

 **CHAPTER 4**

Spiderman was pregnant! He and Elsa now are getting ready to have a child. Suddenly, a red buzzer began to scream. "My buzzer-senses are tingling!" said Spiderman - right next to the red buzzer. He then jumped out the window to find the problem.

"Wait!" Elsa shouted, "You are having a baby! You can't fight!" But Spiderman was already gone.

Spiderman noticed something was wrong: a weird purple guy was in the street. He spun his web at the strange purple guy, pulled him with all his might and absorbed Thanos. Spiderman's skin began to turn purple, his muscles began to grow thicker, his suit began to rip. He had a magical glove on his hands. Spiderman was now SpiderThanos.

 **CHAPTER 5**

Iron-Man flew to Radiator Springs. "Lightning McQueen! The world is in danger, we need your help! Thanos - He's here!" Lightning McQueen was shocked.

"I know something he doesn't!" said Lightning McQueen.

"Oh, and Spiderman consumed Thanos therefore Spiderman now has all the power and ever since he's been on drugs he isn't the same." Iron Man replied.

"Oh no." Lightning McQueen was petrified, "We must destroy him." McQueen revved his engine and with Iron Man they traveled to New York.

 **CHAPTER 6**

When they arrived they saw a ton of others hiding watching Spiderman rain terror on civilians. Star Lord said, "this needs to be stopped!" He jumped down from the building and shot at Spiderman who froze the bullets in midair and sent them hurdling at Star Lord killing him.

"HULK SMASH!" Hulk charged Spiderman who snapped his fingers turning Hulk into dust.

"Anyone else?" Spiderman questioned. Black Panther jumped out and raced towards Spiderman as Thor swooped in behind. As Thor cracked the unexpecting Spiderman in the back of the skull, Black Panther turned into kittens. Spiderman got up and endured a punch from Thor, snapped his fingers and turned Thor into Ducky MoMo. But Ducky MoMo was not going to give up without fight.

Ducky MoMo sprouted wings, took to the air and started firing fireballs. Spiderman had to dodge the fireballs disallowing him to use his gauntlet - he had to clinch his fists to use the gauntlet. Then Peter Griffin came from behind a building and dabbed which shot a powerful ray at Spiderman. But, Spiderman consumed it and vomited it back at Peter vaporizing him.

Everyone looked in shock. Iron Man began to cry, "Peter, he was my favorite Avenger." His tears turned into metaphorical flames and he blasted into the air and came hurtling back down. Spiderman saw Iron Man - who looked like a meteor at this point - and he had to make a decision: Get hit by a fireball or get hit by Iron Man flying at Mach 10. He clinched his fist, took a fireball to the face and Iron Man - right before ramming Spiderman - was decapitated by air.

"Ker-chow!" Exclaimed Lightning McQueen. He backed up and drove away. Spiderman then proceeded to turn Quicksilver into silver, scarlet witch into a scarlet-colored female dog, Wolverine into an actual wolverine, the actual wolverine into a honey badger, a honey badger into an ant, Ant-Man into a wasp, Wasp into an actual wasp, the two wasps into honey, Deadpool into a kid-sized pool, Beast into a blueberry, Professor X into the letter 'X', and Human Torch into a torch. But, Mr. Fantastic picked up the torch and charged Spiderman. So, Spiderman turned Mr. Fantastic into a gigantic rubber-band. He proceeded to pick the rubber band up, put the torch in it, and shot it at the Invisible Woman burning her alive. Then, using his powers, he snapped cyclops neck with a snap of his fingers.

 **CHAPTER 7**

Wondering what happened to Ducky MoMo? When Lightning McQueen drove off, Ducky

MoMo followed. "Quack." Ducky MoMo said.

"I don't speak duck." Replied Lightning McQueen. "We need to hide me from Spiderman. I know something he doesn't. If he finds out, we are definitely doomed."

Then, Doctor Strange descended from the sky. "Lightning McQueen. You are the chosen one. You are the only thing capable of stopping the madman known as Spiderman."

"Quack!" Ducky MoMo cried. Ducky MoMo wishes he was the chosen one. Ducky MoMo wanted to prove himself so he flew back to Spiderman and when he got there he gasped as he saw Spiderman rip Silver Surfer's head clean off. He was going so fast that he could barely slow down and Spiderman saw Ducky MoMo.

Spiderman snapped his fingers and Ducky MoMo's molecules collided causing him to collapse in on himself causing an implosion that blew up a nearby building. Spiderman then heard something.

"Spiderman, if you want to have your baby, you must destroy a universe that is not your own." spoke a voice.

'Oddly specific,' Spiderman thought. Then he traveled back to the DC Universe and blew it up with a snap of his fingers and returned back to his universe with a baby in his hands. The baby was a literal spider. He went home to show Elsa.

 **CHAPTER 8**

Elsa saw Spiderman and the spider in his hands and she screamed. The spider got a bit

scared and jumped onto the floor. In fear of the spider, Elsa stepped on it.

Spiderman looked at her with great anger. Then he snapped his fingers causing Elsa to lose her mouth and nose thus causing her to be unable to breathe leading to her gasping for air, but at the same time she could no longer die.

Spiderman then flew to North Korea and, with a sword, decapitated Kim Jong-Un. "I am your leader." Said Spiderman. The Koreans did not speak English so they just three apples at Spiderman. So Spiderman teleported them all to outer space and they suffocated. Spiderman then launched nukes at Russia, the US, Canada, China, and India

 **CHAPTER 9**

In America, The Thing jumped into the air, grabbed the nuclear missile, and threw it into space. It blew up the moon, "Whoops!"

Meanwhile, in Russia Captain Marvel threw that nuclear missile into space. Adam Warlock protected Canada by throwing that nuclear missile into space. Doctor Strange did the same as the others but in India. Namor did the same as every other person who protected a country from a nuclear missile but in China.

They met up in Kentucky and got some Kentucky Fried Chicken. Then, Spiderman arrived. "You destroyed my missiles! Therefore I shall meme you!" He proceeded to turn Adam Warlock into the size of an atom and the pressure of it condensed his molecules thus killing him. He turned doctor strange into a doctor's stethoscope. He turned Captain Marvel into a marble. Then, he turned Namor into a fish.

Lightning McQueen drove past the KFC and Spiderman spotted him out of the corner of his eye. McQueen sped up but rocks terraformed all around him propelling him upwards. He crash landed upside down. Spiderman walked out of the KFC and he saw Lightning McQueen struggling, he chuckled. He then vaporized Lightning McQueen's tires.

"Have Mercy Spiderman! I have something you need. I have something for you. I will only give it to you if you spare me." said McQueen with fear in his eyes.

"Okay." said the merciless Spiderman (I am foreshadowing).

"Here take it!" yelped McQueen as he handed Spiderman a dark orange infinity stone.

"There are seven infinity stones?!" Spiderman exclaimed in shock.

"Yes," replied Lightning McQueen, "It's the Jesus Christ infinity stone! It is the most powerful, I had it hidden in my engine."

Then Spiderman put it in a hidden compartment inside his gauntlet. Magical golden flames engulfed his hands as he felt the power inside him increasing. He, like Human Torch, shot his golden flames at Lightning McQueen engulfing him. He screamed as the fire melted his plastic skin. His scream stopped, the flames continued. Lightning McQueen was dead.

Spiderman looked at his hands with a grin. Then he saw Kirby. Kirby tried to suck him up to absorb his powers, but Spiderman had to much mass and instead he made Kirby suck his own self up. Kirby was dead now, too. Then, all at once, everyone from Super Smash Bros attacked.

 **CHAPTER 10**

Spiderman's hand were grabbed. They were attempting to remove the gauntlet from his hand. "ARGHH! GET OFF!" He screamed. He then was Falcon Punched from behind but the others held on. Spiderman did not have to snap his fingers nor clench his fist to use his Jesus Christ infinity stone. He burst into flames which he was immortal to, but no one else was. Everyone but the Mountain Climbers, Falcon, Captain Falcon, and Link were incinerated in a matter of seconds. But, Spiderman now had his hands free. He snapped his fingers transforming Link into a chain of links, The Mountain Climbers into 2-foot tall mountains, and Falcon and Captain Falcon into unintelligent birds. But Fox got off from the ground, somehow

alive. He zipped towards Spiderman but Spiderman snatched him. He held him up by his neck and strangled him to death.

Spiderman then flew to the moon and stood there looking at the Earth. "BLAST!" The Earth exploded. "Maybe I shouldn't have done that." He proceeded to use his time infinity gem and reverted time before he blew the Earth up. Then, he snapped his fingers and all heroes died.

 **CHAPTER11**

Suddenly, a kid wearing an orange shirt appeared on the moon's surface. Spiderman looked in shock as the kid began to dance. It was the greatest dance of all time. Spiderman could not handle the greatness of the dance. Spiderman exploded into a million pieces, the Infinity Gauntlet floated onto the orange kid's hand. The kid, while still dancing, fixed everything. He reverted everything back to the way it was - except he erased Thanos from existence. " It's also a good exercise ."

 **CREDITS:**

 **Author: srbeast18**

 **Co-Author: important racoon**

 **Inspired by: Avengers: Infinity War / Marvel's Infinity Gauntlet**

 **Characters are from: Nintendo, Disney, Marvel, Detective Comics, Pixar, Phineas and Ferb Ideas provided by: Memes, Friends, YouTube (Spiderman X Elsa)**

 **Coming Soon: Captain America: Civil War (Prequel), Thor Ragnarok (Prequel), Avengers: Ultron's Age (Prequel), Avengers: The First One**


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